Flickr Photo Credit Adreanna Moya Photography

How do you create margin in your life?

This is a question I have to continually ask myself as a wife and mother of four busy girls. Margin is being purposeful to create time and space to renew your heart. I could (and do most days) move non-stop, with little time for margin in my life.   The result is not pretty.  I become a shell of myself and quite frankly no good to my family, friends or myself for that matter.

Last year, I read the book called Strengths Finders and took a short online test that identified my  strengths.  My top strength theme was Relator which means I am drawn toward people and I enjoy developing deep relationships with them.    The book says this about being a relator, (p147)

No matter how busy you are, stay in contact with your friends.

They are your fuel.

So, when I am feeling overwhelmed and worn out by the business of life, the margin I need to make involves 3 key types of friendship:

1. Quiet Time With The Lord – My most important friendship is with Jesus.  I must spend time with Him each day, studying my Bible and praying.  It simply makes it possible for me to face each day.  This usually happens in the morning before everyone gets up.  I have finally come to a place in my life where my time in the morning with my best friend is more important than sleep.
2. Time With My Husband – When we are not on the same page relationally, I am quickly drained.  We need to spend focused time together talking, planning, dreaming and encouraging one another.  One thing I have realized lately, is that it is important for us to go out on real dates.  Sometimes, we can catch time together after the kids go to bed.  But, I think at this stage of our lives with small children, going out on dates is life giving to me.
3. Time With One or Two Close Friends – Though I am comfortable with a larger group of friends, I feel most energized when I am spending time with one or two close friends.  There is something about sharing real conversation across the table, preferably while eating a piece of Oreo cheesecake that encourages my heart.

I have found when I am being purposeful to make sure these 3 types of friendships are happening in my life – I am functioning at my best.  It is not always easy to make these things happen.  But, I learned a very important lesson this summer.  I hired a babysitter for 3 hours each Wednesday from 12:30 – 3:30 pm.  I went to Panera, and usually met my husband for lunch.  When he left to return to work, I would write or pray.  In just a couple of weeks my attitude was greatly changed. I so valued this time.  And I came away refreshed.  Currently, I am struggling with finding this same type of margin in my schedule.  But, I am committed to finding something that works!

How about you?  How are you finding margin in your life?  What refreshes you?  Today at the MODsquad, other moms are answering this question, too!  Just click the link below to read more!