Have you ever felt like you had so much to learn, and a book had so much to give, that it was a bit like drinking from a fire hydrant? Yeah, reading this book is like that. Page by page, God is pealing away the layers of my heart and pointing out areas that are in need of His Grace. My reasons for wanting to see Grace makes its way into my parenting are clear. In fact, if my year long focus yields only one thing, I pray it is this:
I parent like God parents me – graciously.
I can’t possibly pull out everything from this book in 4 short blog posts. Instead, I will share what inspired me most during my reading. Next year, when I read it (and I will read it again and again), I will probably see something else. That is the mark of a great book. For today, I am focusing only on the first 2 chapters. Let’s dig in!
What does a grace-based family look like? (chapter 1, page 19-22)
- Grace based parents love God, walk with Him, and their children benefit from this.
- Grace based parents are grateful people.
- Grace based parents are “a breath of fresh air.”
- Grace based parents do not let their fears control them.
- Grace based parents realize their own need for Grace and forgiveness. They are not perfect and they know it.
- Grace based parents experience the freedom to let God move in their kids lives and not jump the gun.
- Grace based parents are able to see what matters and what doesn’t through the filter of God’s grace.
So you can see by page 22, I’m raising my hands high in the air and saying, “Oh yes Lord! That is what I want to be true in my family.” I’m also glad for the love and forgiveness part. The more I learn, the more I have to learn.
But, just because we want it, doesn’t make it a reality in our homes. Dr. Kimmel quickly identifies 3 of our kids driving inner needs and this is where our Grace Based lessons will be focused:
- Our kids need security.
- Our kids need significance.
- Our kids need strength.
While we seek to meet these needs on a daily basis, we have a chance to apply Grace. Every.Single.Day.
But why is Grace so important in our parenting? With Grace our heavenly Father…
sought us,
redeemed us,
protects us,
transforms us
and it is the bottom line in how He parents us.
At the end of the day, I have these precious gifts God has given me. My calling is to lead them to Him, raise them up and send them out into the world as His children, not mine. I love how Dr. Kimmel closes chapter 2 with this quote:
…God places parents as a light on a hill for their family…We are lighthouses, permanently established to show them the way home. (page 42)
The way home is all about Grace. Because at the end of the journey, that is who they will find sitting on the throne. Wouldn’t it be great that they met Grace while living in my home?
***So, I really want this to be a discussion, even if you haven’t read the book YET. What have you noticed to be true about Grace Based families? Why is Grace so vital in our parenting? How can I pray for you in this journey?
{next week I’ll be looking at chapters 3,4,&5}
Congratulations to Barb on winning a free copy of this amazing book!
I very much hope to have the opportunity to read this book in the future. Grace is one of my favorite topics.
This mark of a grace-based family struck me this most: “Grace based parents do not let their fears control them.” I need God’s grace – to receive, to rely on it, and to extend it. I all too often let fear direct my emotions and sometimes actions. I so desire to only reach for Him in all situations. And, in doing so, model that personal relationship with God that is available because of this grace.
Thanks for all of your much-needed grace posts, Stacey.
That one really spoke to me too Caroline. Not only in how I parent, but how I live, to make sure I am living without fear and my kids see me doing that every day!
This looks like a book I really should read. Fear, I’ve discovered is my biggest parenting struggle. Fear that I just can’t do it. God’s grace is enough- I repeat this to myself daily.
Thanks for the post.
2 Corinthians 12:9 is on my memo board as we speak! I hope you’ll get the book and join us again next Tuesday!
Stacy! I found out just this morning you were doing this each Tuesday in April from SomeGirl’s Website. 🙂
This is on my “to read” list for the “Spring Reading Thing” hosted at Callapidder Days. 🙂 I have read I think 2 or 3 chapters in, previously. I look forward to sharing and reading snippets! 🙂
What does a grace-based family look like? Well, one word that comes to mind for me is: patient.
Grace is important to me, especially in recent months as God is teaching me more about it, but it is something we need to receive in order to give [it]. If we aren’t receiving grace from the Grace-Giver (and instead wallowing in guilty), we are not going to extend grace to others. We must be recipients of grace to give grace. 🙂
Do you find, Christin, that when you focus on something like grace or patience, that you immediately notice your lack of it? Your comment is such a “light bulb” for me. I have blown it with my kids so much AS I HAVE BEEN FOCUSING ON GRACE! Maybe that is so, I can experience my giant need for it, from the Grace giver.
Thanks for stopping by!
Stacey, I have so enjoyed this book, and there is so much to unpack in it, I only got through Chapter 1! I am excited to read more!!! Just got my post up a few minutes ago, thanks again for sharing!!!
Chapter 1 alone could be like 3 chapters! It has so much good stuff in it! I’m on my way to see what you posted!
Thanks Danielle!
I am adding this to my “to-read” list right now!
It is so, so, good Heather!
I read this book at the end of last year. I am going to go back and read it over again! I was going to check it out from the library, but have decided to just buy it….since I will also be re-reading it over and over!
I have been struggling a lot lately in the patience department. Patience and grace seem to go hand in hand. Patience is what I am given daily by HIM. Patience is what I struggle to give my children. I get frustrated when I have to repeat things for the umpteenth time, I get frustrated when I am in such a hurry (another area where I am struggling….to slow down!), I get frustrated at these tiny beings who have been entrusted to me when they just can’t seem to get it….then I think – I am much like these babes! I do things wrong over, and over, and over. I get back up and I fall flat on my face again! Why can’t I just “get it”? Who am I to be so frustrated at them, when I am like them in so many ways! He is patient with me and patience is what I need to give them. It’s not about me being able to have it all together (because no matter how much I try I don’t), but about leading them to the One who has it all together! Leading them to the One we need!
P.S. Just to add this in case anyone was interested in checking it out. Tim Kimmel is talking about Grace Based Parenting on Midday Connection today. The website is http://www.moodyradio.org
Thanks Ashley for the heads up on the Moody link. And I am right in that same boat with you. Oh how He lives us! When we are weak, He is strong!
Thanks for this great book review. As a parent, I always appreciated practical teaching like this. (Our kids are grown and now they teach us.)
My favorite parenting book is How to Really Love Your Kids by Ross Campbell.
Fondly,
Glenda
I think sometimes the littles teach me too! Thanks for the book suggestion! Sounds great!
My prayer is the same as yours… May I parent as He parents me! Thanks for sharing what stood out to you. I still need to open my copy and start reading it (and now I’m more motivated to do it)!
Great big hug to you sweet Michelle!