When Emily called all the Good Girls together to preview her new book, I was thrilled. I imagined myself, book in hand, making happy little highlights and sending her my best one line quotes. Good girls do just what they are asked to do.
My plan was to blitz through the book, so I could read one of the other three titles waiting on my shelf. My plan was to wade in lightly and tip toe out without making so much as a splash. Oh, I planned to read it, but not to let it read me.
See, I’ve known about being a Good Girl all my life. It started for me at a young age. Praise and admiration was my covering and I wore it with pride. I was the Good Girl. I got the good grades. I did not rock the boat. I pretty much coasted through the early years without so much as a hiccup.
High school found me near enough to the front of the class to maintain my image. Cheerleading helped to sugar coat the persona. I had friends. I was nominated for Prom Queen. I didn’t win, but applauded loudly for my best friend who did, just like a Good Girl should.
I was in college when Grace first came knocking. I became a Christian at the age of 9, but it wasn’t until my sophomore year at Indiana University that God began to pull back my Good Girl mask and whisper in my ear:
Grace means there is nothing you can do to ever be more loved than you are right now.
What? Not do? Not be more loved? This was something to think about. I tucked it deep down in my heart, knowing I would probably need that on another day. Not today though, there was a lively game of softball to be played. Good girls show up to play all the fun games.
Fast forward 3 years or so and I had it all lined up on my Good Girl life plan:
- Master. (check – Good Girls choose Jesus every time.)
- Mate . (check – A walking answer to all my Good Girl prayers.)
- Mission. (check – Full time ministry of course for this Good Girl.)
I lived in that happy, small, Good Girl world for a few years, until it burst wide open with something written by a good God, who knew how to get to the heart of even this mask wearing, should have, and did Good Girl.
The trial was severe.
It was lengthy.
And this Good Girl was torn wide open to the core.
*****
What about you? Has Grace found you? Are you a self-proclaimed Good Girl? Tomorrow, I’ll share more of How Grace Found Me, and Tuesday we’ll start discussing Grace for the Good Girl, by Emily Freeman. I would love you to join us!
Ok, I just spit my coffee everywhere. I knew that you and I needed to be friends, but the similarities are freaking me out….
K, I was a cheerleader and prom queen….and I am the. perfect. good. girl. I have written all of this in posts for my upcoming blog, but I just had to comment. My story has all the same elements that yours has….perfect pastor’s kid lovin’ Jesus, married the missionary pilot she met in Bible school, and then became a missionary….
My story is long, and like yours, I had a big trial (well 2 actually) in my life that ripped me to the core and left me splayed wide open and forced the mask off of my face.
I am still recovering from being a good girl. Still struggling to keep her at bay. I am reading this book right now and I have to go slow…because, yes, it is ripping me open all over again.
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone! rah, rah, rah! haaaa, just had to throw that in. 🙂
Blessings to you sweet sister,
You have no idea how much it means to me that you read this, and shared part of your story, Joy, I’m so glad you did! More, tomorrow, I hope you stop by!
I am so looking forward to the discussion. I have tried all of my life to be as close to perfect as I can be, forgetting that I really can’t ever get there. I always fall short, at least in my mind. I am so tired of living the “try hard” life. I desperately need an extra measure of His grace in my life!
i’ll be interested to read this book. if it is anything like your stories, it will parallel mine as well. yes, i was a good girl too. no, i wasn’t a cheerleader (way to uncoordinated! never could make the cut:( i was in the choir…also played the piano! perfect pastor’s wife right:) NOT!
Shortly b/f we headed to our first assignment as missionaries, our first child was stillborn. Wait! that was NOT supposed to happen! We were doing what God wanted. Why was God taking our child and leaving the child of the couple who “had” to get married and soon divorced?
That was the beginning of learning that God’s ways are SO different, so much bigger than mine. The great thing about His plan is that when He brings things into our lives, He changes us in the process.
The grace of God is a wonderful thing. I need to receive it, I need to give it. In the process, God will change me as this self-righteous “good” girl understands the work God has done in her life during the last 60 years since she became His child. Fortunately, His grace is gritty and is strong enough to love me in my mess. I’m learning to love others in the same way.
Yes – His ways don’t always “make sense” in our eyes. But they are all part of the plan and His grace is a wonderful thing!
Thank you for sharing this Martha! I am inspired by your words!