I love to plan. A new day timer or journal makes me smile. I get excited about blank pages filled with lists of things I would love to do. I even like to make lists of daily tasks. Making a list, or setting a goal, is great . But if you write it down, then you somehow are committed to actually do it. And don’t get me started on how good it makes me feel to actually cross it off the list. Pure joy!

But as I sit here today, I am tired. My southern friends call it being slap worn out. Several things have contributed to this bone tired exhaustion I feel. First of all, I have a 10 week old. She is amazing and doing all the things babies are supposed to do. She even sleeps a little at night. But my days are filled with constant activity. Gone are the days of “sleep when they sleep.” You see, she has 3 older sisters and an amazing daddy. I move from one thing to the other and before I know it, the day is done and I’m begging God for her to sleep for more than 4 hours.

Second of all, it has been a tough year. Illness, loss of life, friends moving away, lack of opportunities to be refreshed —all of these things have drained me. My cup feels very empty. A wise person once told me if your cup is empty you can’t overflow to others. Yep, that is where I am precisely today. Larry Crabb calls it your red dot. Mine is just tired.

So the idea of setting goals , for the new year has really stressed me out. I am too tired to really think about adding a new practice, or task to my schedule. Oh I could probably come up with a few that are obvious:

1. Exercise and lose baby weight,
2. Date my husband more,
3. Be a better more gentle mom

…..but the question is, are they really goals or just what I should already be doing?

Then, I saw this article over at (In) Courage and the idea just felt like a fresh breeze. I can dream. A dream does not feel like a task. It does not hold you down or make you frustrated. A dream is out on the horizon of tomorrow. A dream will wait for you if you need it to. It will act as a light in the darkness of drudgery. It can and will inspire you to keep going. A dream is a friend who whispers what is possible.

So when I close my eyes and dream what do I see?

I see the woman I was designed to be.
I see joy in the morning as I eagerly sit in my big chair and meet with my Lord.
I see gratitude marking every day.
I see my husband living and working out of his strengths and me being his biggest cheerleader.
I see my children walking in Truth.
I see teaching and encouraging.
I see times of refreshment – daily, weekly, monthly.
I see music.
I see a mentor.
I see the chance to meet new friends.
I see coffee and cheesecake with old friends.
I see Jesus.

This was originally posted on January 2, 2010.  As I was looking back, it seemed appropriate to dust it off and share it once more.  God is so faithful to this tired mom.  What did you write fresh and new in your journal on January 1 or 2 of 2010?  Leave a comment and let me know!