I have a confession.
I hide from my kids.
I hide in the bathroom.
I hide in the laundry room.
And sometimes, I hide when they are standing right in front of me. True story.
In my defense, there are 4 of them, they are all girls, and with me, most days, 24/7.
Some would say I have good reason to hide, and often.
But, I heard a word last night at a meeting for my homeschooling group that rocked my world. The word was engagement.
It means the act of engaging {which means to occupy the attention or efforts of (a person or persons}: (dictionary.com)
I had to ask myself, “Am I spending more time hiding than I am engaging them? Do I let them occupy my attention, easily? Or am I somewhere else living another life? “
I forget sometimes, that engagement does not always mean deep, serious, life changing conversation. Most times, they simply want to tell me funny joke, ask me a question, or tattle on their sister.
I’m still working on the answers to those questions, while hiding in my bedroom writing this post.
{Sigh} I am learning so much, being their mom. I’m pondering this thought in my heart today:
My engagement in the moment communicates their worth.
This is so endearing . . . and then “I’m hiding in my bedroom” totally made me chuckle. I don’t have the patience I once had when I was a young mother, so thank goodness my babies are grown and living on their own. It’s such a hard job being a mom — a parent.
I enjoyed this post very much — you made me smile. ; )
Oh Kris you have made it to the other side! That is encouraging! I know this is my season, and I know that the more I embrace it the Lord will give me the energy to serve Him all the days of my life as mom!
Thanks for stopping by today!
laughing and being blessed at the same time! i think all mothers, everywhere can relate to every truth in this post! “my engagement in the moment communicates their worth” … soaking this in sweet friend!
I kind of expected that I was not the only one hiding! I know you understand completely!
You are on my heart friend – praying constantly for you!
This is a great post Stacey. I totally can understand where you are coming from. Right now I am trying to type really quietly and hardly breathe because my little one is still sleeping. 🙂
I have this funny image of us all in a room together, whispering and trying not to give ourselves away! Oh, but the gift of engagement is one of those things that we probably won’t see the fruits right away. But, the fruit will come!
Praying we can engage more, hide less, and make sure that when we do hide, we come out refreshed! 🙂
I love this post!
good stuff, but today, really, did you have to say it today, when I am so cozy in here, and they out there, and here it is quiet and safe and you know, I can be selfish, and not answer questions, or listen to stories, or have anyone expect anything……today? Thanks, I needed the reminder!
{smiling} Yes, I said it today! Oh friend, I so understand!!
I can so relate! I have three non-stop talkers and we live in a small apartment so it’s tough to find a good hiding place sometimes. 😉
But what you say about engaging in our kids is something I also have been thinking through lately. When I was at Sally Clarkson’s conference a couple weeks ago that was something I came away feeling like I need to be more intentional about. She talked about creating sacred spaces with my children, to look them in the eyes, and ask God to show me what is going on in their little hearts. That’s kind of difficult to do when I am hiding in my bathroom! I’m easily ruffled and overwhelmed so it’s hard to focus intently, but God is working on me.
Thanks for sharing, Stacey! Such a good reminder.
I love that idea Meagan! What a great challenge from Sally, who is one of my favorite mom encouragers! Thanks for sharing!
I was just talking about this very thing with a friend this last weekend. We both have girls that seem to talk non-stop. We were relating to the many times we just “uh-huh” repeatedly, only to realize we have no idea what was just said to us.
That recent discussion and now this post… seems maybe I’m supposed to think on this a bit more. 🙂
Thanks for being real!
So nice to know, we are working through the same things. I know grace comes into play here, too! Nice to see you today Donnetta!
You are sooooo not alone! My kids are older now, and I know there have been times I’ve disengaged — not intentionally, just kicking into survival/sanity-saving mode. Even now, I have to consciously engage with them when they’re before me– as teenagers, they often don’t want it or seek it out. But it’s especially important now I know. My clock with them under my wing is ticking and I don’t want to miss any opportunity to connect with them.
Ann Voskamp talks about those “cathedral moments” of being fully engaged… good advice. 🙂
Heidi there is so much in your comment that makes me want to say “Amen!” My oldest is 11, and is still seeking me out, but I’m aware of the fact that the tables may turn, and soon I may be the one trying to engage her.
And the “cathedral moments” so often happen in the ordinary.
Love your thoughts!
Haha…. You made me chuckle out loud! (Hiding while writing about not hiding) 😉
I can totally relate in all regards. Here’s hoping we find answers on how best to engage and still maintain our sanity with a little alone time (there’s nothing wrong with that).
Thanks for the fun, thought-provoking post! 🙂
I take great comfort in the fact that Jesus often went away to a lonely place. My challenge is to carve out that of time, so that when I’m here, I’m really engaged!
Thanks Michelle for stopping by! (and laughing with me!)
so glad i stumbled upon your blog today.
i am often not as engaged as i should be. even when i am with my children i am somewhere else. i home school too, and am with them 24/7, but they often have my quantity and not my quality. i NEED to be purposeful about giving them my quality by being engaged. thanks for the nudge in the right direction.
How nice to meet you Denise! You are packed with encouragement for my tired mommy heart today! Just what I needed!