Recently I found myself sitting in a meeting unsure of what to expect.
I had been nervous for the weeks leading up to the meeting because I honestly had no idea what was on the agenda. And so, I did what any normal person would do. I thought through several different scenarios and created my script for each potential conversation I imagined in my head. I even outlined these imaginary conversations like the “you pick the ending” books I read in middle school. This IS normal, right?
Only the conversation didn’t go in any of those directions at all. Suddenly I was in uncharted waters. I had choice to make in that moment. I could pretend I have it all together, or I could take the riskier route of vulnerability.
And as I sat there in that split second decision, it was almost as if I heard the LORD saying to my heart, “Come out of hiding.”
I’ve always been drawn to the story of Hagar in Genesis 16. There is something about her traumatic and harsh situation that makes my heart ache. Bullied and bruised. Pregnant. She flees her situation.
“The angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” Genesis 16:7-8
There it is. The question.
Where are you coming from and where are you going?
She could have lied.
She could have hidden.
But she didn’t.
She said, “I am fleeing from my mistress Sarai.” vs 8
She owned her running.
In the end, the angel of the LORD sent her back with a promise. And it is clear from the text that Hagar believed she had encountered the LORD. She gave him a special name, “You are the God of seeing” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” vs 13
There in the wilderness, likely running back to Egypt and the gods of her people, the One True God of seeing drew her out of her hiding with understanding and compassion.
I think this story speaks to my heart because I run internally all the time.
I hide it to be sure. I brush it off with, “I’m good. I’m fine. Really.”
But at the same time I’m running and hiding (or think I am)—God sees me.
He meets me.
I was tempted that day, to shake off the question but I didn’t—sensing the greater question came from the LORD. And in the end, the offer to come out of hiding was met with understanding and compassion.
This wholehearted journey is an invitation to trust The LORD who sees me.
This has been a question he has asked me over and over. Do you trust me? Are you ready to stop running? Will you come out of hiding? It hasn’t been easy. And in full disclosure this was not easy to write. I don’t know what is coming next or how really to seek the LORD here. Thank goodness he is already seeking me.
P.S. Where are you coming from and where are you going is a great question to tuck inside your journal and consider answering it without hiding. You don’t have to blog about it. But you are welcome to leave a comment below or drop me an email. I’d love to hear from you.