Note: Originally posted April 24, 2017. You can also find a slightly longer version in Threadbare Prayer on pages 151-155.
__________________________
My youngest daughter dropped my iPad just before I hurried out the door to go to church. With huge tears streaming down her face she pulled it from behind her back and sobbed, “I’m sorry, Mommy, I broke it.”
For some reason I didn’t lose my mind over the shattering. I hugged her with a sigh of surrender, “Don’t worry about it. These things happen. We’ll talk to Daddy about it later when he gets home. Maybe he knows how to fix it.”
Later never came. A few hours later, her Daddy was in the ICU fighting for his life and fixing the broken electronic was forgotten. Obviously.
Broken. Shattered. Fix it.
That is what my heart cried out desperately. I didn’t have any eloquent words for Jesus. I also didn’t have long passages of Scripture. I had a single verse. It was enough.
The Lord is my shepherd I have everything I need. (Psalm 23:1)
I preached that verse over and over to my soul that first night, the next morning, and then again all day Saturday when they told me it was bad. Very bad.
I breathed it in and breathed it out in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death for an entire month. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe it in my head. I did. But, my heart needed to be sure that when I broke apart completely it would hold.
I broke. But my Shepherd did not.
He held in every moment of fear, numbness, and on the other side of his answer. He kept pressing his promise to my heart.
I am your shepherd. You have everything you need.
It seems simple doesn’t it? Jesus didn’t complicate his provision with my need. This truth has become a constant cadence in my life. The sound of me needing him and him being absolutely enough.
The Lord is my shepherd I have everything I need.
He is all I need today when I’m not sure how I’m going to get over and through this. He will be all I need the next time something else breaks and I have no control of the outcome. We both know it will, too. Because we live in a world that breaks, shatters, and cries out, “Fix it.” every day. Lord Jesus, our shepherd be near.
His word is our promise. He is our truth. He does not break. He breaks through.
He holds.
Always.
xo,
Stacey
P.S. You can read a little bit more of this story here. “What I Want You to Know But I’m Afraid to Tell You.” Words have been slow. I appreciate your grace.
**The Lord is my Shepherd graphic by Becky of To Choose Joy.
As always Stacey, thank you for your ability to be so candid and open about a part of your life that is so intimate – so precious. Because of this though, you are able to pull at the hearts of women like me who are broken in places where we need to understand the full meaning of Psalm 23. Thank you and God Bless you and your family in full.
What beautiful words and so much truth. My Sunday School class started “Fresh Out of Amazing” this past Sunday. This will be the 2nd time I have read it (I participated in the on-line study earlier this year). We are lifting your sweet family up in prayer.
As I’m sitting here reading your blog post, I am completely sobbing.
I want God to fix the situation I’m in. My husband will lose his job in the middle of May. A position he has had for 18yrs. His company sold to a larger company & they are letting them all go. We will lose everything in this. Our home. Our church community. A move out of state. One child staying behind. I know God’s promises for me but they seem far from me.
Since I heard about your husband, I’ve been praying for your family. I’m so glad he is home & on the road to recovery.
Praying for you Nicole…thank you for sharing this with all of us…my husband may be facing the loss of his job soon, so my heart goes out to you, and I also second what you said about praying for Mike and Stacey since I heard. Won’t stop.??❤
Amen! Again, thank you. Thank you for showing me, teaching me, modeling for me, just how important it is to hide God’s word in your heart so that you can find the truth and dispell the lies. Love and hugs!!!