So the big news this week is that Steve Jobs has resigned as CEO of Apple. In a letter to the Apple Board and Community he said:
“I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.”
As I read this I had one thought: What happens when you are a mom, and you feel like you are not meeting your duties or the expectations of others and you can’t step down? Who do you let know?
Here is my letter:
Dear Lord, {I figured I should go straight to the top}
I have always said (well lately anyway) that if I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as a wife, mom, teacher and cheerleader to the 5 others living in this house, I would let you know. Today, that day has come. I have…
- yelled
- screamed (is that same thing?)
- cried
- asked forgiveness
- yelled
- screamed
- cried
- and, well you get the picture.
I’ve pretty much fallen short in every category. I am tired and not really good for much right now. The trouble is, Lord, that I need to be amazing and I’m fresh out of amazing. At least it sure feels that way.
Lord, I’m dry. Empty. Hit the wall. I got nothing.
I just thought I’d let you know. But then again, You already do.
Psalm 139:1
O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
: : :
So, friend, can you relate to this?
It is okay if you can’t, you can just pray for me or send chocolate.
I so wish we could have this chat at Starbucks, but let’s chat in the comments!
Update:
(This blog post inspired Hope for the Weary Mom and another entire book called Fresh Out of Amazing. To find out more, click the image below)
Original Post Date: August 25, 2011.
I can relate 100%!!! You are not alone my dear. Trying to take more breaks from all things Apple when I start feeling that way 🙂 Prayers sent your way.
Yes – my Apple break has been more of a sit and stare at the screen and have nothing going through my head! Thanks for your encouragement Erin! Looking forward to seeing you soon!)
Umm.. yes! Fresh out of amazing, patience and excitement my friend! Thanks for writing with the veil off. Love you!
I miss your face girl. Let’s cheesecake real soon! K?
I was just saying to someone the other day, “where does a mom go to resign”? I use to think God was crazy for blessing me with two more children 6 years after my first two. But I have to believe He knows what He is doing. But motherhood is just plain hard most days. I could use a Steve Jobs in my home , or at least a full time cook. laundress, grocery shopper and maid!
We are so on the same page of life Barbie!! Do you think Steve does dishes??? 🙂
CAn I ever relate!!!!! feels like you wrote about “my” day!!!! Thanks for sharing and starbuck sound lovely right about now!!!
Relating with you friend, relating. Thanks for being real with it. With Joy, Carey
Ha. Can I relate?! Of course! It’s true, we can’t just say, well, I screwed it up big this time, guess it’s time to move on…. but I personally feel like mothering has taught me a lot about sticking it out even when I don’t feel good at it.
Oftentimes in relationships or a task I do, if I’m not good at it, or don’t feel like I measure up, I walk away (*blogging*cough*cough*). Can’t do that with mothering…the good, the bad, and the ugly, I’m in it for the long haul…and that’s good for me.
And, if I were you, I’d send a quick little email to Mr. Jobs with your idea about the spa. I believe the spa (and a good Starbucks) is pretty good at curing what ails ya.
Blessings!!
Just last night, as I went to bed, I felt like I was wrestling with God…begging Him to give me peace in my current situation. I think I finally drifted off saying, “Give me peace! Give me peace!”
I can so relate to what you’re saying here Stacey, because I feel the same way. Right now, I got nothing to give. Nothing. Nada. I’m tired and don’t feel good and honestly, I want a break from everything. It’s not that I want to leave my family, trade them in, or get news ones…I WANT to be with them…I just want a break from hard hearts, discipline, correction. I just want their hearts changed and I can’t do it myself. Sometimes, the knowledge of this makes me feel hopeless and helpless.
I guess that’s why I pray so much 🙂
Sorry for my rant sweet friend. You hit a nerve with me this morning. Love you!
Oh Brooke you made a great point! I feel the same – it is not that I want to resign from my family (I adore them), but it is the feeling that I can’t meet the expectations I’m sure I put on myself mostly. And – the 24/7 nature of mommyhood is so overwhelming at times. Yes! Lord, give us peace.
I love your heart Brooke, and God is using you in amazing ways. I’m so thankful to have crossed paths with you.
Ummmm? This is good one. Really good. Definitely know those days. I mean being a mom is hard every day, even when life is just it’s normal crazy. But when I have one of those days with nothing to give (or only the not so pleasant stuff) it is SO HARD to turn it around! I’ve learned to let go of any and all expectations, call a friend to pray for me and pray for God’s grace to just get me to the end of the day with everyone safely tucked in. And that takes a lot! So you are not alone by any means. Good to know, isn’t it?
And if you work out that spa day let me know. I am in!
Right there with you sister! Just had one of those evenings last night. If I was one of the kids, I should have been sent to my room! {but I would have enjoyed the quiet}
You went right where you should have, to the throne of Jesus, where only He can restore and refresh!
i can so relate! i can honestly say that i have more of “those” days than i’d like to admit. i am currently walking through a season of depression along with crazy changing hormones (oh the joys of hitting 40! 🙂 ) so the heat is really on for me these days.
it’s on those days that i can easily fall into guilt, blaming myself for ruining my kids, or assuming that i am an awful mommy or wife…..
it’s at those times that i need to be reminded of HIM….Him, and the truth of what he’s done for me. how he was perfect in my place and how he can lift me when i fall.
i need to be reminded of the truth that i am righteous in his eyes because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, and that he doesn’t hold my sin against me.
but it’s also on those days that my kids learn what humility is when they hear mommy asking for forgiveness–again.
it’s on those days that they learn that life isn’t easy and that mommy’s struggle too, and that we all need jesus–every moment of everyday.
i love how your posts speak right to where i’m at…..
Grace to you….
We all need Jesus – every moment of everyday. Even Moms!
That is beautiful friend. Praying for you!
stacey, i love you! let’s go get a massage! really.
tuesday i yelled at dominick after i’d just gotten on to him for yelling. so, he asked if he could put hot sauce in my mouth (I’d done this years ago for “sassy sauce” but stopped.) I said yes, and oh, it was a good taste of my own medicine (oww!!!!) 🙂
hope i gave you a good laugh…you are not alone, my sister! 🙂
Oh girl…this was good for my heart. I love your transparency and the way you say exactly what is in my brain, but so much better than I could EVER say it. Your gift of words is amazing, seriously. You are such a blessing to me and so many others. Love you, friend!
I have been praying for you! That God would give you strength. Thanks for your sweet words friend! They mean the world to me!
I just heard a report on my favorite radio station yesterday about how many Christian wives and moms say they feel like failures. Being a mom is the most all consuming job in the world. Add in work, home, marriage, homeschooling, and all the other things we juggle in a day, and its no wonder we feel overwhelmed. Its a struggle every day to see ourselves as God sees us and to remind ourselves that to Him, we are perfectly imperfect. Love the verse – my hubby is preaching a series on Psalm 139 this month.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
It is all so defeating. Feeling like a colossal failure, but not getting to escape it. I hadn’t thought about the resignation before. Just about anything else in life in which I felt like a failure in, and can’t do a good job in I would totally give up, for my sake and the sake of those around me! Leads to desperation.
But God.
I am so thankful for His grace, His deliverance.
I’ve been memorizing and studying Psalm 143…and the honest cry of the Psalmist’s soul is mine as well. For mercy, healing and deliverance.
“For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life!
In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!” Psalm 143:11
But God. But Grace. But His Word.
Life giving Katie! Thanks!
I so totally get this (and I want to borrow your form letter).
Dawn – you are welcome to it, at no charge 🙂
Oh yeah, right there with ya! Read a post last night that talked about bearing fruit being a long process, in nature, it doesn’t happen over night. We can’t expect to see the fruits of our labor as mothers over night either. Hang in there!
First of all, I love your smiley face gravatar! It made me “smile”! And the fruit thing, yeah, did I mention I’m not much for process and waiting! Ahh, He is not finished with me yet! Thanks for stopping by today!
When I read things like this, I feel like God is speaking right to my heart. Thanks for being willing to share real-life with the rest of us!
Wow…I needed to read that TODAY. I can so relate.
So glad Jessica, that you were encouraged. Look for follow-up posts today at MODsquadblog and next week at The M.O.B. Society. And on Saturdays in November!
Thank you so much for the honesty in this post, it is just so so nice to know that we are not alone in our feelings, that we all have bad days, that we are all human. I thought I was the only mother in the world who felt this way!!
I have just gotten Hope for the Weary Mom on my Kindle and I cannot wait to read it.
Thanks again, for being real.
Nina from Australia
Nina – you are not alone! “Hope for the Weary Mom” has shown me that even though we feel like we are the only ones struggling – we are not. God wants to meet us in the middle of our mess. I am so glad He does! I am praying that He speaks to your heart as you read this little ebook! Blessings! I’m so glad you stopped by to say hello!
That’s exactly what I’ve been feeling for quite some time now… I think I’ve lost myself in the process of putting everyone else’s needs first & neglecting my own in the process. This year I need to find a way to change that… restore my joy & get the song back into my heart.
I have felt this way a lot but I am 51 yrs and I know if I take it to the top as you say it will all be all well. He is in control and as soon as we would just let go then all will fall into place. I’m a mother of three grown married children. And one new blessing a grandson! If we just allow Him to take control and not care who knows or sees our lives are much richer and so are those we love!