For when you are broken to pieces...
Here we are again.
I’m broken to pieces.
In this one area you have elected to take your pruning sheers and cut back to the deep. Over and over again I have laid it down. It is yours Lord. You know best.Some days, I am weak and You are strong.
Some days I am just weak.I don’t know why this one thing is so hard. Why it hurts so bad. Why the longing is more than I can bear. So, here is my plea. “Take it. If it is not to be, and perhaps it never will, then please take away the desire. Make me indifferent. Fill that space of want, only with YOU and what YOU want for me.” That’s it, that is all I have.
The lies are subtle. I am quick to believe them more than not. I have so many promises stored up in my heart, but in this one area,I am defenseless.
No good.
Discarded.
Forgotten.So not true. I know, I know, I know. But I feel it to the very center of who I am.
But then…you say, “Peace be still.”
You see.
You move.
You give way to hope.
When it was all gone.You say, “For you, I did this.”
And the tears flow, and I am speechless.
I look around and wonder if anyone saw that “God moment” just happen?No. It was for me. Between Him and me.
And a song of praise that I don’t yet have the words to rises up. And I sing it to the One who wrote it on my heart in the first place.
All for Him.
Counting 1,000 Gifts….
#851 My Father who knows me and my particular heart.
#852 How He works in ways I could never begin to comprehend.
#853 Hope renewed.
#854 My earthly daddy who is Cancer free!
#855 The strange gift that Cancer has brought our family.
#856 For my husband and the father he is to his girls.
#857 Bumping into a friend.
#858 Surprises abound when you ask, and look. {thanks Linda for the challenge!}
#859 Uncle Sam sending our money back, and then some.
#860 Moments He comes near, and I am not the same.
Friend,
My heart aches with you as I read this! And all I can say in this post is praise Jesus that He is meeting you where you are…He is teaching you long-suffering and living the crucified life in this vacuum right now, that He is all you need. And I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will one day allow this desire to be fulfilled again. I don’t know when, where or how. Of course, I’m not sovreign and it’s possible that He may not fulfill this desire this side of Heaven, but in my gut I just hope and pray that He does…because you have a heart after Him and He is taking you to a place where you have had to lay it down; somehow He will multiply it hundred fold! And it will be even more beautiful and refined than it was before! He is truly showing you that He is all you need. I know it’s hard! But I praise Jesus that He met you today in such a real way. Thanks for sharing this and being real with us! I needed to hear it!
Love you! How about Friday?
He is so faithful to move and work exactly at the right time and when I truly need it. And He did. Funny how He lets us go only so far, and then He is there – really was all along you know.
Thanks for knowing my heart and reading between the lines as only my dear friend could!
I think Friday should work!
Hey, I was just wondering. When are you going to Paris? I’m so looking forward to following your adventures in Paris here on the blog! I’ve always wanted to go to Paris and am planning on going someday!
Paris in the spring – of 2012. We have so much to plan before then! I hear it is lovely in the spring!
Can’t wait!
Dear Stacey,
You are my neighbor this Monday by posting right before me at Ann’s. I came over to “borrow a cup of sugar”. I sense this is a time of struggle for you. I left a prayer outside your door just before I left. He answers prayers, but, more often than not, not in the way we expect. Look for a miracle in every moment.
God bless you,
Dawn
Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement and prayers. I can assure you that He is answering them.
Praise the Lord He meets us right where we are! Your post was beautiful!
He certainly does Kari! Why are we surprised by it?
Stacey,
While I am sorry that you are having to walk this path that you haven’t chosen, i want you to know that I can relate and am praying for you. My dad was diagnosed w/Early Onset Alzheimers 9 years ago, at the young age of 53. He is now in a nursing home and doesn’t know me anymore. Walking this journey with him has been the most painful thing i have ever walked through. I have cried out to God, begging for him to heal my dad and give him back to me, but i now know that God has a better plan. You see, I now know that God will heal my dad, though not on this side of Heaven. And i now know that God does work all things together for good for those that love God. So many good things have come from my dad’s illness……my mom now leans on God and sees him as the answer to her every need, and I now know God as the One Who is Sovereign over every area of my life. I no longer try to control my life and the lives of my family, but rather, I trust in the One who gave my dad to me. One book that radically changed my life during this season was Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. Take care and thank you for sharing….. ~patty
Patty – my dad has been battling cancer for the past 2 years, and so much of it has been hard – but the rest has been a gift – of faith, family, and the constant prayer and support of friends. It is odd to say it has been a blessing, because now one want to walk the path of suffering. But it is here where we often find His sufficient grace so dear and sweet to our hurting hearts.
Praying fo you now!
“You say, “For you, I did this.”
And the tears flow, and I am speechless.
I look around and wonder if anyone saw that “God moment” just happen?
No. It was for me. Between Him and me.”
Those private moments are so powerful, aren’t they? He is so good!
Yes, Ali He is so good. The broken places all swept up and He is just so good to me. I am blessed. 🙂